Going (Senti) Mental
Everyone thinks I'm Luffy.
If you don't know, Luffy is an ambitious, wide-eyed, wide-mouthed anime character with a penchant for skull-bashing and wisecracking. Nothing frazes or unnerves him, and he has this tendency to go rushing into things, regardless of the risks. And, at the end of it all, he still manages to smile.
For a while, I kinda liked being compared to Luffy. Luffy and I share the same good traits, you see: high ambitions, friends and family as one of the foremost priorities, optimism, bloodlust. I liked it that, like Luffy (who has an elastic rubber body), no one could escape my punches, kicks, or both (having long limbs is an advantage). I also found some solace in the fact that I make other people laugh by just being me (regardless of the negative implications). It was all fun and jokes then, and I didn't mind.
But things are quite different now. I feel restricted by my image. You see, whenever I chance upon friends/acquaintances and they see that I'm nowhere near my usual jolly self, they dish out comments like, "Oi, Kuya Arpee, magpatawa ka naman.", and I get pissed off even more. It just feels weird to not be able to get angry or sad or serious or intellectual when you feel like it just because other people feel that you should always be comical and jesting. It makes me feel trapped. And, in the end, I find that I have to give in despite my feelings telling me otherwise because the ones who tell me to do so are my friends, and yes, maybe they don't know me well, but they're still my friends, so boohoo.
Hmm...I'm ranting and not making any sense at the same time, am I not?
(I guess that's the reason why I named this blog "Seeing True", and why I still update it every now and then. It's become sort of a respite from the insanity of the world, to which I refuse to submit. All the things I can't say because these will do more harm than good, I post here. Emotional dump site pala ito.)
I don't want to drop the Luffy image. Like I said before, it's a part of who I am. It's just that I wish other people would stop confining me to just the Luffy image and allow the other parts of me to emerge; the parts that feel sad and hopeful and hateful, and all else in between. The Sanji, Zorro, Chopper, Usopp, Nico, Nami, and Gold Roger parts. Because as much as I would like to be just (like) Luffy, I am not two-dimensional.
If you don't know, Luffy is an ambitious, wide-eyed, wide-mouthed anime character with a penchant for skull-bashing and wisecracking. Nothing frazes or unnerves him, and he has this tendency to go rushing into things, regardless of the risks. And, at the end of it all, he still manages to smile.
For a while, I kinda liked being compared to Luffy. Luffy and I share the same good traits, you see: high ambitions, friends and family as one of the foremost priorities, optimism, bloodlust. I liked it that, like Luffy (who has an elastic rubber body), no one could escape my punches, kicks, or both (having long limbs is an advantage). I also found some solace in the fact that I make other people laugh by just being me (regardless of the negative implications). It was all fun and jokes then, and I didn't mind.
But things are quite different now. I feel restricted by my image. You see, whenever I chance upon friends/acquaintances and they see that I'm nowhere near my usual jolly self, they dish out comments like, "Oi, Kuya Arpee, magpatawa ka naman.", and I get pissed off even more. It just feels weird to not be able to get angry or sad or serious or intellectual when you feel like it just because other people feel that you should always be comical and jesting. It makes me feel trapped. And, in the end, I find that I have to give in despite my feelings telling me otherwise because the ones who tell me to do so are my friends, and yes, maybe they don't know me well, but they're still my friends, so boohoo.
Hmm...I'm ranting and not making any sense at the same time, am I not?
(I guess that's the reason why I named this blog "Seeing True", and why I still update it every now and then. It's become sort of a respite from the insanity of the world, to which I refuse to submit. All the things I can't say because these will do more harm than good, I post here. Emotional dump site pala ito.)
I don't want to drop the Luffy image. Like I said before, it's a part of who I am. It's just that I wish other people would stop confining me to just the Luffy image and allow the other parts of me to emerge; the parts that feel sad and hopeful and hateful, and all else in between. The Sanji, Zorro, Chopper, Usopp, Nico, Nami, and Gold Roger parts. Because as much as I would like to be just (like) Luffy, I am not two-dimensional.
posted by Ryuujin at 10:45 PM
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